I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
