next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
