I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
