I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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