I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
