She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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