I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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