Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.