her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
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Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
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I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??