we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
