I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.