Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
