her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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