Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
