It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I have fence marks all over my body
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
