You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize