Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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