Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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