is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
