i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
