I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
