how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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