your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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