i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
