Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
