Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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