if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Randomize
