That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
