He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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