there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break