Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey. http://tfl.nu/ja6h
  Replies (46) Good night (11302) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka" http://tfl.nu/7oja
  Replies (6) Good night (5229) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy! (218): I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head. http://tfl.nu/0svk
  Replies (29) Good night (5029) Bad night (2010)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test! http://tfl.nu/oysi
  Replies (7) Good night (933) Bad night (3348)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/vvjh
  Replies (11) Good night (1568) Bad night (1105)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it. http://tfl.nu/2dh1
  Replies (2) Good night (1956) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now. http://tfl.nu/b1mw
  Replies (8) Good night (2910) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym http://tfl.nu/zlhc
  Replies (3) Good night (1519) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie. http://tfl.nu/erv7
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer. http://tfl.nu/d3xk
  Replies (3) Good night (752) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression. http://tfl.nu/o4mu
  Replies (3) Good night (854) Bad night (396)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me. http://tfl.nu/gyap
  Replies (5) Good night (614) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence. http://tfl.nu/l65g
  Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds. http://tfl.nu/rx6k
  Replies (1) Good night (366) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers. http://tfl.nu/iwq4
  Replies (1) Good night (729) Bad night (273)

Randomize