He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
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You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
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We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
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There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.