I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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