gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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