would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
