I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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