respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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