New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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