He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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