My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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