When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
