I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
