I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
