Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
