my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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