I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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