ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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