I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
