wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
