i permit you to call me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
