If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize