I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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