Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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