You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
