That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
