did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
