I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
MIDGETS
????
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
