ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
His hands were made for my vagina.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
