if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize