jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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