Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
