i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize