I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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