i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
