i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
