Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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