Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
