Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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