She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
