I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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