I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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